I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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