My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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