Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
