Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
