Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need moral support for this bender
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
