She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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