I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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