Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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