that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
