I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize