So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
