You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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