I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
