I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
