i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
