so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
