Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
