a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
