We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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