You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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