Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
