I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize