Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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