I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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