The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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