You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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