I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
