Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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