i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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