Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
