He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
