I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize