Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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