love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
