come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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