I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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