everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
