Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
