margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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