Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
