Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize