I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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