we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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