My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize