Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
