Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize