Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
