my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize