she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize