...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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