so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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