I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
