Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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