my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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