my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
