Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize