And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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