16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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