are you so shy because you have an std?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
