Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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