Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize