the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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