Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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