I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
