Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
