i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
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I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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