That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
